F1 offers us the great Renault scandal. Remarkable, isn't it, how the world's most tedious sport manages to keep itself in the headlines with one shock horror story after another? Cynics might think they were doing it deliberately; all scripted, like those various initialled wrestling soap operas.

And, by the way, why all the fuss whenever a driver lets his teammate pass him because he needs the points more? Hasn't anyone noticed the TEAM bit? Do people complain if Wayne Rooney passes to Michael Owen instead of shooting for goal himself?

Which brings us to Sparky Hughes and his magic watch. Funny that, for once, Fergie didn't whine about added time. But come on, folks. Even an amateur basketball team manages to have a clock on the wall that starts and stops at the referee's signal, so everyone knows where they are. Is it beyond Premier League football clubs to do the same? Problem solved in an instant.

What else happened? Oh yes, we lost 6-1 to Australia in the one-day series. Anyone care? I thought not.

As for proper sport, my week included two Aveley games, both 4-2s. The first was an FA Cup replay against London Colney who looked very much better than Spartan League Div One and led 2-0 at half-time before manager Rod Stringer's flying teacups sorted his team out and they finally made the three-division gap count.

Millers reached the lofty heights of second in the Ryman Premier on Saturday (a mere eight points behind Dartford) but were on the receiving end of the 4-2 scoreline this time. Talking point here was the volunteer linesman who took over when the proper one hurt himself soon after half-time. Aveley were told by the ref, who was from Lancashire and knew no better, that the newcomer was 'a Maidstone official' . Cue outrage on the Aveley bench when he flagged for offside to cost them a goal. Stringer and centre-back Darren Blewitt, who had just been substituted, were invited to depart the premises (though I heard no moaning sufficient to justify such drastic action, and I was standing pretty close to the bench). Alongside me was Aveley secretary Craig Johnson, who gave me the 'Maidstone official' story. I hurriedly pointed out that the deputy, who was on the far side of the pitch, was nothing of the sort. He was, in fact, league vice-chairman Nick Robinson. Craig grabbed his phone just in time to ensure that Stringer, who was about to pass Nick en route to the stand, was not tempted to comment further on the decision - which was, incidentally, perfectly correct.

Just to make it the protest even sillier, Nick's signal led to an Aveley penalty a couple of minutes later - and that was a correct decision as well.

In between the two Aveley games I paid my first visit of the season to Hornchurch, a club in total financial chaos for the second time in five years. Manager Colin McBride has somehow kept them going and there seems a general belief that a buyer will soon appear to rescue them, though no-one seems to know who it might be.

On the speedway front, there was a heavy cup semi-final defeat for an injury-hit Rye House and a disappointing play-off display by Lakeside Hammers at Wolverhampton on Monday. I watched the latter on TV, which meant suffering a Tony Millard commentary with its three stock phrases, one of them being the semi-meaningless 'teammate and partner' which comes out about three times in every race. And he kept getting the riders' names wrong. Hammers' in-form pair of Finns, Kauko Nieminen and Joonas Kylmakorpi, were right out of form so, needing a 20-point second leg win to force an aggregate draw, the Essex men are probably finnished.